Trading my sorrows

I just finished reading this book called 'Trading my sorrows' by Walt Heyer. It's  true story about this guy who really suffered so much abuse, pain, drugs, alcohol, rejection, loneliness, depression, suicidal thoughts and utter confusion about his identity because he had a sex change from male to female. He destroyed his family, career and himself because of the surgery, which his surgeon even admitted was a mistake. His testimony was so inspirational because he said it was only through the power of God that he was healed from all his suffering.

I wanted to read this book because I wanted to understand how transgenders think. I had no understanding of how or why anybody would want to change genders and so I thought I'd read about the life of a Christian transgender. Walt's or "Laura's" life was truly chaotic and he talked about the girl as a totally different person who had different tastes, opinions, voice and even handwriting. He said that the girl inside provided an escape route for his sufferings as Walt, so when the abuse, drugs, alcohol and pain from his childhood was too much, he'd become Laura. With alcohol and drugs to fuel his misery, he was in so much pain and completely broke.

'I needed an escape and found it in my head, through obsessively thinking about changing my gender.'

But God was working to repair his life and gave him a church support group to help him maintain sobriety, and in the end his life is really a powerful testimony to the life transforming and healing power of Christ. He struggled A LOT, like soooo much it's so freakin sad.

Leading up to this I had had years of therapy. Why was I now a bigger mess than ever before? I had accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and saviour years earlier. Where was He in all this? Why was I not healed by His almighty power? Damn it, this is not how I wanted my life to be. I hated myself for betraying my children. I was beginning to see how selfish and self-centered I had been, but I was in denial that alcohol was my real master, not Jesus Christ. ... I gave up on Him because I thought He had given up on me. ...Lying, cheating, and manipulation were my tools of trade 

 

He found out later that he wasn't transgender, but suffered from multiple personality or dissociative identity disorder. In the end he became a male again and found love in a new marriage.

One thing that really impressed on me was that this guy never gave up in his quest to get help. Though there were times he fell and relapsed, he always got back up again. And he thanks his Christian friends who took him in and sheltered him until he recovered:

My story testifies to the truth that we must never give up on people, no matter how man times they fail or how long recovery takes. We must never underestimate the healing power of prayer and love in the hands of the Lord. We must never give up hope... ... I love my life thanks to all those friends who held my hand and walked with me on the twisted path until I was whole enough to walk on my own.

I want to be a person who is able to help my friends through their rough times and bring them to Christ because that is the only way they can be truly healed and find happiness and peace. And I want to be somebody who will never give up on someone when they need me, no matter how many times I might get hurt in the process of helping them.

Walt's website